Four years after the death of my husband and travel partner, I’ve embraced traveling on my own.
By next summer I will have traveled to more than 100 countries. Many of these trips were with my late husband, but for the last four years I have traveled solo and learned many lessons along the way. He and I saw travel as much more than ticking off boxes on a bucket list and more about developing a world perspective. We can learn so much from other countries and the world is often smaller than it seems.
My husband used to devour historical fiction books about the destination to which we were headed. I, on the other hand, have found I enjoy reading similar works once I have returned home and can mentally see the places I’ve been. After a recent trip to South Africa, James Michener’s saga The Covenant was a wonderful read, albeit incredibly long!
I like to get off the beaten track and enjoy wandering through a new city stopping at a local cafe (preferably sitting outside) to watch that particular world go by. This allows me an opportunity to engage with the locals, which can be far more enlightening than a headphone bus tour. If you prefer group tours, ask lots of questions of the guide. It is amazing how much you can learn about local customs and mores. On a recent trip to Oman, our guide gave us an in-depth look at the wedding engagement process in his country. This included a tutorial on the dowry process, which sadly meant he had to wait several years before he had enough money to propose marriage.
I have learned the importance of respecting the religious and cultural traditions of the country you are visiting, especially in places of worship. Once home, I take some time to write down all I have gleaned from my trip—focusing on things that were different, things that were the same, and what made the greatest impression on me.
It’s taken time, but I have learned to enjoy traveling alone. I often join tour groups and am always pleasantly surprised at how many other single travelers there are. I have met some wonderful new travel companions and now am coordinating future adventures with several of them.
Taking solitary weekend road trips to beautiful historic inns or weeklong art workshops in the U.S. and abroad is one of my favorite pastimes. I have come to appreciate how freeing and empowering this can be. As much as I miss my favorite travel companion, sometimes it is nice to go wherever I want, whenever I want. Even eating alone—the biggest solo traveler hurdle—can become a pleasure. My trick, when possible, is to choose a seat that looks out on something. Just try it once and it won’t ever seem as daunting.
There is life after the death of a loved one. It takes time, but when you are ready the key is to activate your curiosity, embrace new things, and open your mind!
After losing her husband in 2021, Marilee Clarke began writing her book on navigating grief. Excerpts from the book (still in progress) often appear in this magazine. Her passions include mixed media creations and traveling the world every chance she gets. She currently splits her time between Issaquah and the California desert enjoying the best of two very different and beautiful locales.