“Gimme a head with hair,
Long, beautiful hair!
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen.
Give me down to there (Hair!)
Shoulder-length or longer (Hair!)
Here, baby, there, mama,
Everywhere, daddy daddy,
Hair!
—From the musical Hair
“There’s something mystical about hair,” muses 80-year-old, pony-tailed Michael Hagen. He cites different traditions around the world, from covering hair entirely to shaving it off. “And look at Samson and Delilah. Hair plays a big part in the way we see ourselves and others.”
It certainly does, and for many, age-related changes in our hair may not be an easy transition. “We are all neurotic about our hair,” says, with a laugh, stylist Josephine Morales, 59, owner of Seattle’s E*Clips Hair Studio. With decades of experience dealing with both the timid and the bold, her basic advice is, “work with what you have and own it.”
That doesn’t necessarily mean going au naturale. “Unless genetically blessed, hair can get thinner as each strand loses volume. Coloring hair changes the structure so it makes it appear fuller,” she says. “I recommend going half a shade lighter than what you usually have and gradually go from there.”
There are those who aren’t ready to change and might never be. Sandra Driscoll, 74, started dyeing her hair in her 60s to keep the color she was born with, a medium warm brown. “I simply like how I look with the color in my hair,” she says. “Clearly, I’m not doing it to fool anyone. I think I just look better with color around my face. Yes, it is expensive to maintain but I’d rather cut back elsewhere than go gray.”
Beyond color, how short or long to go can be another difficult decision. Morales suggests a very close cut for men with thinning hair rather than hanging on to a fringe or going for the comb-over. For women, “a shorter version of what you usually have will make it look thicker. Long hair can get stringy and flyaway.”
Of course, there are exceptions. Meryl Nelson, 72, has almost never cut her hair, except for a brief fling as a teen when she trimmed it to “look like Patty Duke.” With sleek white hair to her waist, she goes for a conservative trim occasionally, but that’s it. While Nelson enjoys the gift of great hair, it’s also a hit with her grandchildren. “They like to brush it and braid it, put clips in it,” she says. “And for me, it’s like getting a great massage.” As for the convention of shorter hair on older women, it’s just not an issue. “I’m not against anything, it’s not about counterculture. It’s just who I am.”
That can’t be said for Michael Hagen. His long, wavy white hair is very much a statement. “I’m not exactly your 9-to-5 guy,” he notes. As a young man, and conscientious objector against the Vietnam War, Hagen joined his generational tribe in growing long hair, a departure from his farming community roots.
“My mother was a beautician. I remember the ladies would come to our house and get their perms. The men all had short hair and wore hats,” Hagen says. “Every summer, I’d get a buzz cut and a new pair of tennis shoes. By fall, the hair was back, and my shoes were worn out.” In high school, he went with the latest fashion—buzz cuts (aka pig shaves), flattops, and crewcuts.
Then the ‘60s hit and his hair has been long ever since. Having grown a bit thin on top, Hagen now sports a dapper black beret. “People sometimes ask me, are you a poet? An artist? It’s just become my signature look.”
His partner, Terry Hudgens, was once a towheaded kid. At 75, she’s now all silver and shine with an elegant bob. “I’ve never dyed it,” she says. “I’ve had this style for the last 20 or 30 years.” Change came nonetheless when Hudgens was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2019. “I decided that saving my hair was really important to me so I opted for cooling cap therapy.” Used during cancer treatments, the cap reduces hair loss by circulating cold liquid to the scalp, which in turn constricts blood vessels so that hair follicles take up less of the chemo drugs. “Those treatments saved my hair,” says Hudgens. “It was bad enough having cancer. I didn’t want to go bald as well. It was expensive but keeping my hair was more important.” An unexpected surprise—her hair is now thicker than before.
With so many options available these days, it might be time to have a little fun with whatever is up top—pink stripe, a spikey cut, or maybe, like the song says, grow it “down to there.” Observes Meryl Nelson, owner of the long, lustrous locks: “As you get older, it’s a wonderful time to do whatever you want to do. Let it go and just see what happens.”
Connie McDougall is a former news reporter and current freelance writer of nonfiction and personal essays. A lifelong student and proud English major, she has pursued lessons in flying, scuba diving, tai chi, Spanish, meditation, hiking, and Zumba.